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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

"Sometimes, I Wish I Was I Was Average"

He wakes up
laying beside him is a woman
who is not his wife
he thinks,
“What am I doing?”
he creeps out of the suite
and finds himself on the beach
he doesn’t like him self
he doesn’t even have to glance at the beautiful Caribbean ocean
to see his reflection staring back at him
he reflects on what his soul is experiencing
constantly waking up with a gnawing inside
a heaviness
as if every grain of sand on that beach was his problem
and he was buried beneath it
the thrusts of ocean waves of disgust
beat on his chest
turning the wet sand to a murky waste field
laying
weighing on his heart
all the people he has let down
he thinks
“If only my dad could see me now.”
all the mistakes he has made
lay in the shadow of his famous face
rarely does anyone desire to know the person behind the face
most just want to touch the hem of his garment
in hopes that what he has will rub off on them
or one of the their kids
so that they can be rich
famous
and accepted by every race
that is when his soul cries
“I am not perfect!”
but no one is listening
they are too content to shower him
with compliments and praise

so your wish came true
some of him rubbed off on you
but it was not the fortune you hoped for
you reaped the hypocrisy
the alter ego of the Golden Rule
do unto me as I want
but do unto others
as you want them to do unto you

why are you complaining
did you lose your role model
the game
is the same
no matter what game field
a man strokes it on
on the par
or between the sheets
tigers will roar
they will hunt
and they will pounce
while
other men ride trains
and others take the literary route
with Play Boy
and some just resort to the
method of their fore fathers
needing nothing but a good grip
but the image of a woman is still in the mind
we say that act is not the same
but God says it is
so who is right?


and now the clean cut image
the face of mixed heritage
that some Black women baulk at
not enough swagger for them
but upset when he goes for vanilla
instead of chocolate
funny how we don’t want to be minorities in the work place
but we want to be the minority in dating

the stain of your blood is now weighing on your soul
crying what happened to the old saying
no matter a person’s skin color
we all bleed the same blood

and the media frenzy
who can’t resist the sensationalism
they now glimmer with their delivery
to make a spectacle
they see his skin color
more than they see his trysts
they only see his blackness
he now sits in a black hole
because he did not stick to his whole in one
he had to share his balls with many
with a heart that you say is more white than black
but we all know that if you have a little color in you
then you are considered black
so what are we going to do
continue to divide
or help to lift up our brotha or
would you prefer me to say “brother”
that messed up
yes,
he was wrong
but we have all made mistakes
too much
too little
too late
it’s just that our deeds just were never broadcast
it’s times like this that he wishes
he was not famous
but just average

Copyright 2010 By Veniece Wesson. All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

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