You Didn't Even Fight For Me

"You didn’t even fight for me
You just let me go
Couldn’t your gut sense the need in me?

All of these feelings laying dormant

Like a storm on the rise
Released by the tide of your loving force
But now the force and the pangs of waning love has taken the storm way off course
Brewing initially was a minute storm that would saturate a few weeds
And hopefully drown them out so that our love would flourish and we would better ascertain one another’s needs
But my insatiable hunger for you has turned into a tsunami
The end result being two broken hearts not fit for recovery
Because I cannot bear the constant separation
I use to take pride in my lack of need for a man
I could see the man I was dating every once in a while
Let him caress me and leave content with a smile
Because although that man was accommodating
He was in no way at all exhilarating
Besides I was a woman with purpose, and anything more would cramp my style
And then one day, just as fashion trends changed, so did the weather
And humidity seeped into my pores
Leaving me dripping wet at your door
My guard began to drop
Because you kept seeping through every crevice of my pores
Eventually reaching my carefully guarded soul
It was no exageration when I said that for two years plus I was not attracted to another man
You imply that it is impossible for a female not to be attracted to other men
But you are thinking from that bulge in your pants
I am not merely attracted by what I see visually
But also viscerally
Though aesthetics are pleasing , they are not the deciding factor
Just like I hope that you don’t choose a women by her looks complete by Max Factor
Men of various background have approached me and have all sunk like the Titanic, they had impressive portfolios
But in the end they were lacking the proper credentials
At least for what I needed
I needed a man to completely fill me in spirit, soul, and body and not leave me with gaping holes
When your tugboat came in to guide my cruise ship
I was hesitant at first
But I begin to see that your actions were natural and simplistic, and not at all rehearsed
And I adore your complex, multi-layered, soul that is bottomless like the deep blue sea
Now I am sailing despondently, never thinking that I would be blue in the oceanic because of lack of time with you
But somehow you touched a part of me out in ocean of love this summer
I’m so wet; I regret that a life jacket cannot save me
I was cruising along fine on my Princess Cruise line
Good times, stimulating talk, and wonderful friends; like fine wine
Mostly sunshine, little rain, no storms, and no love fatalities
Just like the weather you crept up on me gradually
You rescued my heart when your life saver appeared
And now that you’re here
You are not going to even fight for me; you are just going to disappear?
I never cared enough about anyone to care what they did
I enjoyed the separation and the separate lives that we lived
My ex was always at dock a and I never sailed out of dock b
Except for that occasion we would meet at dock c
The distance was never an issue
My ex and I could love and leave each other on cue
But when you and I are close at heart we are far in distance
And when we are close in distance we are far apart at heart
My head is filled with confusion, which is the devil’s workshop
You can’t see the tears through the oceanic, but my rudder is off course
My eyes are red and my voice is hoarse
And all I can hear now is noise in the bottomless sea echoing my heart beating for you
Yes, I am confused
Because I have become unglued
Thinking about you
And why this weather love pattern occurs on every blue moon
And why life and commitments seem to consume
Our lives leaving us with so little time
I don’t even have time to unwind
My work, my kids, and you have me consumed
I could see this coming, our course doomed
Because you chose to dwell in a complacent realm
And instead of loving me, you took a nap at the helm
And in the end, you didn’t even fight for me
How could you not fight for me?"

Copyright 2009 by Veniece Wesson. All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.