Baby, Baby, Baby

When you first met her it was “Hey, BABY! "



When you got with her, it was, "Oh, BABY!”

And now you are saying, “We are having a BABY?"

You had no problem saying give it to me baby
but now that I say that we are having a baby
baby, Baby, BABY
your tongue has gone lazy
eight weeks have gone by and all I have heard you do is rant and rave
as if I seduced you and you were a perfect gentleman well behaved
you wanted it just like I did
when I asked what did you want, you declared, "You," and claimed me as your bid
driving for hours back and forth to see each other at night
on the way home trying to stay awake because eye lids were closing tight
your walls show the scars and your headboard is my witness
it was all about survival of the fittest
because you were my weakness
and I was your sweetness
we undressed
our minds linked and our bodies meshed
and we survived
with our busy schedules burning at both ends managing to keep the flame not just lit, but alive
burning like a robust sweet smelling fire
my head telling me I should slow down, but my heart replied, “Don’t listen to your head girl, she’s a liar”
you facilitated boosting my self esteem
vividly illustrated to me what passion really means
as your stroke hit it right on the green
and when the ball made it in the tiny cup, I literally screamed
but now I am screaming at you day and night
you are edging me on, irate and you actually love the fight
you are playing the victim
and treating the woman that you once caressed at night, like scum
thought it was safe to not use condoms; tubes should have been tied
your sperm found my egg and when they connected they shouted, “Let's keep hope alive!”
and now that hole in one that you loved so well
is now the gateway of life, our baby’s birth canal
now you feel bitter
your feelings for me have shriveled and withered
now instead of holding me at night
you murmur about how I am ruining your life
Daddy-to-Be you are experiencing it mentally
while I deal with the mental anguish and I also experience it physically
but I will not let this bad choice gnaw at my core
what we had is jammed, nailed shut, water tight, closed door
I will also shut the door on my resentment
I want our child to feel loved and not sense our selfish childish contentment

Parents, you can’t disguise or harbor bad feelings towards each other from your child
because the child is you, both of you
both seeds infused together creating one new unique individual with its own personality
and somewhere along there lies some of the mother and some of the father
are you only going to love the part of the child that is you?
impossible
you did not create that child alone
you created that child with someone
it was a partnership when you made love
and now it is a partnership that you have to endure since you created love
the love for your child should be the foundation

and not what the other parent did or did not do
you have to learn how to get along
both parents
even if you are no longer together
you have to stop acting like you are an infant
and start working together to care for your infant

Copyright 2009 by Veniece Wesson. All rights reserved.

Craig

"December 31st, 1978
Was the date that sealed her and her mother’s fate
Her mother said, “Don’t wait up baby, because I’ll be out late.”
She was mad at her mother because she decided to break their date
They were suppose to stay up and bring in the New Year with Dick Clark
But instead the thirty something diva wanted to go and party like the freaks do when it’s dark
Even though the girl was only twelve, her instincts sensed something was wrong
That this innocent night of clubbing would lead to pain prolonged

Same old thing
But then something new
Instead of being abused by children
It would now be a grown man causing a family feud

Sure enough the girls’ instincts were right on the money
Her mother could not see it at the time since she had found a new honey
But he was into specials, two for the price of one
He had the mother and now he wanted her daughter
He subjected the girl to things that you would not believe
That after he was done she scrubbed herself until she would bleed
Just trying to get the dirt off her shoulders, but still seeing traces of it on her sleeve

Same old thing
But then something new
Instead of being abused by children
A grown man causing a family feud

Then late one night in February 1979
She felt like she was dying inside
Craig came into her room after he had gotten her mother drunk and passed out
Instead of letting him abuse her she stood up for herself and said, “Leave me alone you louse!”
He pursued again and thought it she was playing a game
But when she repeated her outburst, he realized that she was not lame
She was not a little lamb that would roll over and continue to say, “Bah!”
Even though she was terrified she would have rather died then again let him touch her
He backed off and she realized that she had won
Yet he did not leave her home and this troubled her

Same old thing
But then something new
Instead of being abused by children
She was now fighting off a grown child abuser

Then one school night when they went out for a so called family dinner
She had cauliflower for the first time at the Sizzler
It was a blissful night full of conversation and fun
But when she returned home she felt like scum
Why was Craig still here?
She thought, “I told him no!”
“I don’t understand why he does not pack his duffle bag and go?”
She went into the bathroom where she had tried to scrub his scum off before
And decided that this will never end so I am about to walk through heaven’s door
She took all the pills from her asthma prescription
Then went and sat on her bed with good intentions
After reflecting for a few minutes
She thought, “I don’t want to die!”
So she went and told mother that she had taken the pills while Craig was standing at her mother’s side

Same old thing
But then something new
Instead of being abused by children
The grown man will not give up being a child abuser

At first her mother thought she was joking like it was a game
When she realized she was serious, she rushed her to Harbor General without delay
The doctors induced vomiting to preserve her life
They monitored her and she still remembers them asking her when they saw something white
“Young lady, do you think that is one of the pills?”
She replied, “No, it is cauliflower.” A vegetable till this day still make her feel ill
After the ordeal the nurse suggested that the girl see a psychiatrist, of course Craig was opposed
He had the nerve to say, "This is a family matter that needs to be resolved at home.” The truth is he feared being exposed

Same old thing
But then something new
Instead of being abused by children
A grown man is trying to hide his abuse

She did see a therapist once or twice
But it was not enough to cut or splice
Because on March 1, 1979, her mother gave her life to Jesus Christ
Then her mother told Craig that they were through
He was so outdone his plan had come unglued
He could not leave though without one final blow
He had the nerve to tell her mother, “Your daughter’s not a virgin you know?”
Like a 12 year old girl would actually want a beer belly thirty something year old man
Her mother was outraged and she went to the girl and asked
“Baby, has Craig ever touched you because if so I will call your dad,”
The girl knew that her daddy had a gun
And if her daddy shot Craig, then Craig would become the victim
She was playing the adult like she had so many times before
Because she had enough wisdom to know how things go
That daddy went be sent away to prison
And that she might be taken away by child protective services
So the girl lied and said, “No,” that she was never touched by him
Her mother walked away not completely convinced but figured with her fists wound up tightly in a bundle
That Craig made the accusations because he was disgruntled

Same old thing
But then something new
Instead of being abused by children
It was a grown man causing a family feud

That was the end
The girl never saw him again
After that her mother never had another boyfriend
Her mother and father are now both in heaven
They both died without knowing the truth about what happened
The girl found out years later that her mother told a close family friend
That Craig had destroyed her and that she never recovered from him
She divulged that life was never the same after that vulture
He preyed upon a lonely innocent female pretending to have morals and culture
And then there is that once 12 year old girl who never told a soul until now
Who would have thought that the winter of 1979 could create such havoc?
Now perhaps her peers may understand why she was so odd at times, it was a mask of deception
She was trying to cope during the day; while fearing the night because Craig was waiting at home for his reception
But this story was not at all told for sympathy
It was purposely told so that you mothers and fathers listen to me
Please think again before you so easily allow a strange man or woman around your kids or any children
Make sure that you know them fully because the world does not need another child abuse victim
Because I am that 12 year old girl now stuck in a grown woman’s body
When all I really long for is my deceased daddy and mommy

Same old thing
But then something new
I was abused by children
And a grown man that is still causing a family feud"

Copyright 2009 by Veniece Wesson. All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

Armando the Player

I met this nice looking guy named Armando once while I was on my break at work
Sitting at Kelly’s café having my bottled water and a chocolate cookie plump with nuts
I had on a gray BeBe suit with my stiletto peep toe pumps
This guy came over slyly trying to look at my bump
As soon as he determined that he liked what he saw, he came over to my table and asked if I was alone
Then he promptly sat down and then had the gall to put his number in my cell phone
And said, “ I love the French tips that you have on your toes.”
Saying he had a foot fetish and he just wanted me to know
He then said, “I want to take you out this weekend,”
He said, “Let’s go to dinner and a movie and later get freaky.”
Then he proceeded to hold my hand and try to hug me, even though I had known him for less than five minutes
The dude was acting like he just knew he was going to hit it
I pulled away & said; “Hold up, wait a minute, we have not picked out china patterns,”
“You just met me and you’re taking too much for granted!”
He said, “You got me all wrong baby girl,”
“I know you heard it all before, but I am the man who can definitely rock your world.”
I replied, “You are touchy and feely for a guy I just met,”
“This is real life and not a music video about soft and wet!”
He said, “You have me all wrong, just give me a call,”
“We’ll go out and I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”
The test was I did not call him and he knew where I worked
He just wanted a one-night stand with all of the perks
I see him from time to time pass by my job
He claims that he just has to see me and I am his heartthrob
But his feelings disseminate as soon as he leaves
It’s obvious that I am not the woman who can fulfill his needs
There is no love connection and I will not be used
Or he would not just contact me when he is only passing through

Copyright 2009 by Veniece Wesson An excerpt from my upcoming book, “An Everyday Diva’s Conversation of the Mind.” This is from a trilogy of poems called “Do Not Settle” All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

115 School girls pregnant at Black Chicago High School

This is in response to the 115 Black teenage pregnant girls at one Chicago High School...

“Are we creating another breed of girls
Again unable to handle the challenges in this world
I’m troubled
Saddened
Maddened
By the lack of disregard of bringing another human into this world
We want to repair them now
Why didn’t we prepare them then
The cycle spins
Babies have babies
The young are restless
With no viable skills
Other than their Madden & Halo scores

Intervention

Prevention

Is what we need

Males & females must realize

That when you choose to lay

The odds are that sometimes you may have to pay

For that moment of passion

And sometimes it does not lead to a happily ever after
Society is abhorred
But not to the degree of making a change
Only enough to offer spare change
Called WELFARE
And welfare often does not repair
It just keeps most locked right there
Where they are
To be limited
Because you first have to change a person’s way of thinking
In order to make a lasting impression
You have to teach a person how to fish
Otherwise, they will be back the next day for another fish
And again that fish, is called WELFARE.”

(Please see the video above & realize that the teenage pregnancy issue is relevant everywhere, & affects every culture, this is not just in Chicago, need I mention Jourdon Dunn, Bristol Palin, Solange Knowles, & Jamie Lynn Spears?)

By Veniece Wesson. All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form by any means without the prior written permission of the author.

Am I MAD or Am I Mad?

Am I MAD (a parent who is both mother and dad because the other parent is not around for whatever reason) or am I mad both because I am a parent playing dual roles constantly or do I appear mad when I have to step into the masculine role to protect my children.
Let’s look at of these roles, I am both mom and dad, so that makes me MAD, doing my best not to intertwine the roles but sometimes my “M” is a bit too masculine and my “D’ is way too dainty. And if you are a dad playing both dad and mom then you are D_M?

How does a single mother explain to her son about wet dreams?

How does a single father help his daughter shop for a training bra or guide her when she first starts her period?

The father of my sons and I parted ways over four years ago, and since that time well meaning men often tell my 13 year old son, “You are the man of the house.” “Take care of your mother.” I know that these men mean well and are teaching him to be strong, and a provider. But it ends there, no other words are provided as how my son is to accomplish this huge task of taking care of a mother and two younger brothers.

That leaves me doing my best to find a balance between teaching my sons to always open a door for a lady, but at the same time making sure that my sons don’t appear soft or to put it more bluntly, become a punk.

A few years ago, I was visiting my son’s fifth grade class at recess time and what I saw deeply concerned and saddened me. The ten and eleven year old boys were on the basketball court playing basketball when one of the boys who was playing defense had the ball stolen from him by the opposing team. What did the boy do at that moment? Did he turn around and try to help his team out and attempt to regain control of the ball and possibly score points. No, that young man began to cry right there on the court in front of all of his peers. And these were not first or second graders, these students were preparing to enter middle school! I knew immediately that somewhere along the line that boy had not been trained how to suck it up, and not to cry over something so trivial especially in front of another group of boys.

So here I am at little league, flag football, and basketball practices and games, doing my best to teach my boys how to be a young man. And though I enjoy sports, I can never replace a male. (Just as you fathers, cannot replace those precious moments of bonding that can occur between a mother and her daughter. ) But here we are DAM MAD parents.

But the irony in all this is the same MAD female who is raising these boys will sometimes be perceived as too assertive for training up her son in the way that he should go, for having to cop a swagger, and get in his face if he steps out of line, Then all of a sudden that same MAD female is all of a sudden a b*tch .

So now, is she not only a provider, but she is taking on roles that she was not equipped to handle alone as a woman. She has to sometimes have to stop being feminine and attempt to take on the masculine role because there is no one else there. Most MAD’s want to be protected and loved by a man and instead they are playing the role of a man. Just as I am sure that many single fathers want the nurturing touch and love that only a female can provide. And notice I say playing, because no matter how MAD or DAM we become, we can never be both, but the other option is too fail, and we refuse to fail, because the stakes (our children) are too high for a father to be damned or for a mother to literally become mad.

In the end , we need to think about our choices, make wise decisions, plan and don’t live by the moment when it comes to engaging in sex and becoming parents; because being MAD or DAM is like a President without the Vice-President or Batman without Robin.

Copyright 2009 by Veniece Wesson. All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

Who Are We? Are We Pimping Our Black Culture?

It is perplexing that we as black people want to embrace our culture, but at the same time are offended when someone of another race tries to embrace it. Whether it is our music, urban way of dressing, dance moves, etc.

I understand why, perhaps it is because of the not the rich, but poor history of our race. Our ancestors for the most part were brought here against their will and were forced into slavery. Through all of the heartache, they learned how to survive and created a legacy rich in culture with the little that they had. Creating sumptuous meals from the scraps of food they were thrown such as bones left over from animals (neck bones) and pigs’ intestines (chitterlings or chitlens). These and many other dishes such as collard greens, pig’s feet, ham hocks, etc. are what we call Soul Food and our part of our beautiful Black heritage.

And the songs that slaves sung helped to form such music genres such as Jazz, Gospel, and the Blues which also led to other genres such as Rhythm and Blues and even Hip-Hop with its funky beats.

Now we are in a new millennium, and have more liberties and are able to embrace who we are, we are in essence a mixture of what our ancestors were before slavery and what we are now that slavery has been legally abolished. But many are still slaves in their minds, torn between the two, most Black Americans would not want to go to Africa, nor would they be accepted in Africa. But as we continue to learn more about our past, sometimes we find it difficult to swallow all of the injustices our ancestors endured and the racial profiling that still continues today, not only for not only us, but Latinos as well, need I mention Sonia Sotomayer?
Have we become so complacent that we do nothing at the risk of leaving our comfort zone?

We want to be accepted by white people as long as they don’t cross the line and start to carry on in ways that are considered only acceptable by Black people. We have a few token White people that we embrace in the music world, such as Justin Timberlake and Eminem. Just as White people have a few token minorities that they embrace in film, for example, Will Smith and Eva Mendes. But everyone is cautious to keep the lines clear so that the melting pot is still divided into shades of black, brown, and white, never allowing for it to become grey in any culture.

So then what do we want? We simply want respect and our culture to be respected. But in order for Blacks to be respected as a whole, we have to be respectful. We cannot act like a fool and then demand respect, because when an individual of black color acts inappropriately, it affects the entire black culture. But when a White person does, the person is focused on, not the person’s ethnicity.

Most people that are currently famous have wealth attached to their name. But do those who manage, publish, and distribute what those people sell such as music really respect the individual artist? Or do they respect what they get from that artist in terms of residuals. Think of some of the most influential musical artists currently, who respects Lil Wayne; many respect his dollars, but not him. But a person’s soul is not defined by their wealth but their character.

So if these artists do not believe in what they are saying, and are doing whatever sells, then they are pimping themselves, much like the prosttutes that I see when I drive down Long Beach Blvd in Compton, CA.

Are you pimping yourself, or are you as real in front of people as you are behind closed doors?

The Obama’s cannot do it on their own; neither can Dr. William Cosby, or Oprah. We are all responsible for our actions and like it or not, our actions collectively represent what is perceived by the media. The media does not look at the 20% of the black populous that is pushing forward; they concentrate on the 80% that makes our culture look bad. What percentage are you?

By Veniece Wesson - No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.